Why I had - Bulimia! Petrina Hahn - Roosterwriter

If you had an eating disorder then let this page entertain you and please have your bulemic read on! Oh I had it full blown bulimiawhen I was 13 years old it started. When I began to get the symptoms from the Thalassemiathat no one told me about I started wondering what was wrong with me and how come I coulden't keep up with everyone. Hence something needed to be controlled and boy did I control it.

My mother was very good looking. Modeling company actually went to her school and asked her to be a model. Of course she refused so that she could get into college and graduate and get a job. She graduated high school at 16 and finished college easily at 20. So my beautiful smart overachieving mother has a cripple.

Not just a cripple - but a girl who can't even make the grades. I was full honors always until eigthgrade I started getting tired. I would show up at school late because I just coulden't keep up. I had real scholars in my family and even the fifty's woman were able to run family businesses all beautiful all in command of their lives. Then here's me - the unabled. I could only go to school. I wanted to have friends as well and work out but coulden't. My brother had a girlfriend who was in gymnastics and her friends were all athletic - not me. I would work out then sleep - really sleep.

I came from a family with teachers everywhere and suddenly I'm not making the grade! Yes very pretty so I figured maybe I could approach the modeling and see what I could with that. Modeling actually helped me. Thirty years ago and 20 an hour at 15 is pretty good. All I had to do was show up and they thanked me. Not only thanked me but paid me!

I wasen't able to make enough to go to college - not on my own -not at 15! I coulden't go the full days of school. My body wasen't keeping up all the time. My legs woulden't work in class - my hand would get to the point were it was so numb that it woulden't move. Doctors visits with no remedy. What I have there is no remedy just stem cells and blood. So I had some serious control issues to work with.

I coulden't talk about it either. I wanted to be able to work this out get out of Western Massachusetts and go to where the real doctors were. By my not knowing what was wrong with my body at an age where you truly need one in order to function, I was left to explore on my own - on my own I found BULEMIA.

Bulimia is a very strange relationship between yourself - what's bothering you and the ability to take it out. A twisted taking out on your terms - your way - finger down the esophagus, make sure the tummy is clean - no talk backs a very alcoholic type of life but surrounded by the vomiting buzz. Oh yes it's a severe disorder. I woulden't recommend this to anyone. Being bulemic makes an untrained, uneducated individual with no means of outlets for themselves - capable. There's planning what to eat - eating enough to the extent you can vomit - and then afterwards almost telling your body that you are in control and not the condition.

I am very much writing this for young and old who are developing or have full blown or someone who knows someone who is doing this.

My suggestion is to get the word out that you know your little lovey is vomiting. The approach should be casual for it's not the act that's the problem. If you hide behind the weird factor - this won't get resolved.

I think they have places you can go to now for issues like bulimia and would highly suggest it. Once a week sessions are not the answer with this. The constant reference to Alcoholism is such that they are the same. Two different substances but the same. The stronghold is truely that great.

In order for myself to overcome Bulimia - I actually had to remove myself entirely for two months. In the first week I had stopped myself. I had stopped myself only because I had relieved the pressures I placed on my body and life and just was able to focus on what I could do. I was surrounded by people who acknowledged me - the real me just me not super me, not go reinvent the chemistry line - just me. These people liked just me.

I am not blaming everyone for how I felt. It would have been helpful to know that I had a deadly condition and needed rest and really wasen't putting people off. I had even signed up for the service and was supposed to go in. I got a medical clearance but had asked the recruiter to please allow me to look elsewhere in life. My physical inabilities would only have had me in for a week anyhow. A waste all around or others hating the fact that I would have had some sort of special treatment without knowing why. Peel potatoes for four then sleep five. What service could be rendered? What a hero but I needed the support of not being able to go and they gave it to me. Sometimes I wonder if they knew I woulden't make it they just wanted me to feel that I could. I come from a long line of heavy hitters. Being upfront and honest is the best.

I also had a job just as a waitress but needed to work and so I was working after being told I coulden't. Excused from something I probably could never do anyways, and off to hang out and go to college. That is what I needed. Shorter days, a path of my own and one that I could actually accomplish. Attainable life - that I could sustain.

There is so much control with disabilities that things get all twisted. It really took only two weeks to stop everything. It was such a huge relief for me to not have to be put through such an ordeal. I never did the bing and purge afterwards. I have met people that have and feel sorry for them. I had three years of bulimia and no thank you.

I had gotten divorced after having my child and ran to every avenue possible to make sure things would be good. See my other bloggs. They go right into the same category as this. They really all fall together. Typical -

I will be adding more - thank you for reading and don't react to someone you care about harshly with this. It's usually caused by something else like extreme disappointmentor feeling of inadequacy, or rejection. It may be something you have no clue to and only by giving an open door are you going to get a conversation into play. Otherwise expect the blank stare and the whatever. I wasen't getting answers and I was a child surrounded by adults who were specialist and not telling me what was wrong. Disappointment? Very much so - that is why I suggested some sort of camp or retreat for your loved one. I was heavily supported when I stopped. It's something I don't talk about because I don't want to hurt folks feelings. Really nothing personal just Bulemia - has to be taken care of.